I am having the time of my life. The point of relaxing is understood. Just let everything go. Let go of everything. Process your emotions. See your flaws clearly. Make amends with yourself over them. Applaud your aha moments. Applaud your tenacity. This life isn’t easy. But the payoff… The payoff is worth anything I’ve been through. And I felt tortured and tested. I had a few moments when I really felt like I wanted death to embrace me. You know. Just punch my ticket. Take me out. Done. But that was then. This is now. Now we’re letting go. Giving yourself a pass. Giving yourself a judgement and final ruling that all is forgiven and you can give yourself a stamp of approval that could literally say: rad, awesome, okay, free, cool to hang out with, not dumb.
Exercise my spirit guides assigned to me for self forgiveness, self love, and release of karmic cycles:
Look at yourself in a mirror and say to yourself: I love you (first name) (last name). Say this to yourself twenty or thirty times. Try to mean it. You won’t succeed every time. When you don’t mean it, why is that? What’s behind that? Whatever the memory is, give it love. You are past it now, and wiser for it. You get to feel and process the emotions as they go through you. Eventually that person looking back at you in the mirror is in awe. And they love hanging out with you. Its like you’re on a date with yourself, and you love the company you’re in. You’re not alone. I can’t name names but they’ve been vetted. They’re like cool man.
Thank god my grandmother spoke like this all the time. It kind of gave me permission to do the same thing. Back to letting go. Everything you let go of frees you to be free. Once those rules don’t apply to you anymore, take a moment. Take a moment. Is there anything you want to do expressionistically that flies in the face of the previously held restrictions? Show those laws of physics who’s boss. I’m pretty pumped about being here. Everything is beautiful. Hahahaha. Get me? I’m handing out wings.
Okay. I just went to mount Bonnell to meditate. It occurred to me to try to transmute the air below the chem trails. Why not go that big? Make Yoda proud. I visualized it. I saw the vortex of energy manifested. Gave it intent, love, healing energy. I realized that I can do this. All limitations are illusions. I am the one I was waiting for. Then I grounded myself, opened up my chakras, and generated a merkaba field between my hand chakras. Then expanded it. I felt an incredible tingling in my right hand. All my body could feel this energy physically coursing through me. It made my muscles move. I felt all this emotion. All this power. All this connection. With so much more than me. It was a cosmic awareness. Tears and laughter bubbled up out of me. I had an awareness of how powerful I am. We all are. It was unbridled. Like I was on a rollercoaster going a little too fast for me. Like I was being shown more than I had been shown before. And it was almost more than I could handle. So much emotion. It’s like the volume of love I felt went from eleven to ten million. I added some chants and vocals to complete the vibrational intention. Now I’m writing these words. Thanks for reading. This is what my shaman journey looks like today.
